Sermon For August 1, 1999
Tenth Sunday after Pentecost
HEBREW TESTAMENT: “Jacob Heads Home” ~ Genesis 32:22-31
When I was a young man I was quite sure of my self. My mother always said, “Jacob, you are the smart one. You are the one who has a great future.” I believed her words. It seemed so easy to fool my brother Esau, to trick my father. Then a day came that changed my whole world. My brother vowed to kill me for stealing his birthright and his blessing. I left my homeland and feared that I would never return. On the way to Haran, in a dream I received assurances from the god of my father that I would be taken care of. So I said, “Show me.” It seemed as if I was well taken care of when I finally arrived at my uncle’s, and I set eyes on my cousin Rachel. Immediately she took my heart. I begged her father, my uncle, that I might have her in marriage. The feeling of being the smart one went away quickly. I worked for seven years for Rachel’s hand. As we prepared for the wedding Uncle Laban said, “Let’s sit down and have a drink.” And another. And another. The next morning when I awoke with my bride, I found that it was Leah in my bed. Rachel’s sister. I went to my uncle, full of fury. He laughed. He laughed as I had laughed at Esau. He said, “Oh, Rachel? Seven more years.” So I labored once again for him, before she became my bride. The years went by. Seven, fourteen and more. Leah bore me sons. Leah’s handmaid and Rachel’s handmaid. And finally this god blessed Rachel and she gave me Joseph. The others were good boys, but it was Joseph who was in my heart.
The years were difficult. To have two wives, sisters, in competition with each other. Sisters trying to provide heirs. Sisters who wanted different things from me. And my uncle. Always, “Jacob, come have a drink.” “Jacob, why don’t you do this for me.” “Jacob, why don’t you do that for me.” According to the old laws I married into his family. The land was his. The herds were his. The daughters were his. Finally my father’s god came to me once again in a dream, and told me what I must do in order to gather support for my family.
I spoke to my uncle about dividing the animals that were born. Little did he know that as the years went by my flocks grew, and grew, and grew. The strong animals, the good stock. The day came when I gathered my wives and said, “We are not welcome here any longer. It’s time to leave.” Again I was visited in a dream. My father’s god said, “Go back to your brother. Go back to your home.”
I was frightened. I remembered his promise to kill me. But we headed south. As we neared the Jordan I took some of my servants and said, “Take from the flocks. Take the very best and take them to my brother. Take the she goats and the he goats, the lambs and the ewes. Take the camels. Take them as a gift to my brother. Divide one flock from another. Send the first flock and say, “This is a gift from your brother and your brother comes after.” Then the next and say, “This is another gift from your brother. And he comes after.” Another and another that his heart might be opened. If he is not grateful for the gift then perhaps he will be in awe of the riches that I now have, and hold his men back.
My servants returned and said, “Your brother is coming with 400 men.” Again my heart was gripped with fear. We came to the Jabbok. I told my family to divide into two, so that if Esau came to kill us all, men and women and children, that he might attack one group while the other half could escape. I sent them across the river. All of them. Leah and Rachel all of the children, the servants, the flocks. I was not yet prepared to cross that river. So I sat by the shores. The water poured through the gorge. I heard it’s sound bouncing off the straight rock walls. It filled my ears. Night time came.
At first there were stars, then the sound and the blackness seemed to push everything away. I though about the time that I had fooled my brother. I thought about the messengers of God walking up and down the stairs. I remembered my uncle’s laugh when I awoke that morning with Leah. I thought about the years of labor, the years of hope and expectation that somehow, some way the god of my father would be faithful to his promises. I though about who I had been, who I had tried to be. The arguments of my wives. The children. My uncle and his family. My brother Esau waiting for me.
In the darkness I lost track of all time and place. I felt my life coming down on me as a burden. Then as if someone had jumped down from the cliffs, a great weight pressed me down to the rock. I turned and struggled, but I had no idea what I was struggling with. I didn’t know if it was man or angel. I didn’t know if it was a fear of death or God Himself. I struggled throughout the night, rolling over rocks, almost falling into the river. I, we, bounced off the rock walls until I was bruised and bleeding.
Faced with a loneliness so intense that I cannot find words to describe it, I was filled with a great sorrow and a fear that my life would soon be over. Esau coming with 400 men. My wives were gone across the river. The children. The flocks. By myself, struggling through the night. They say that I wrestled with God. But in Hebrew the word “wrestled” also means dust. Dust you are, to dust you shall return. My once proud heart was taken down to dirt. I called out in the night and said, “Who are You?” The voice called back, “Who are you?” I said, “I am Jacob.” But the voice said, “No. You have struggled with God and with man and have prevailed. You name is Israel.” As the dawn came up, I grabbed hold of this One with whom I wrestled. And the voice called out, “Let me go, the dawn is coming!” I said, “No. Give me a blessing.” Instead I felt the pain in my thigh. In agony I let go.
When morning came and the sun rose, I tried to rise, but my leg would hardly support me. The word “thigh” in Hebrew has a deeper meaning. The thigh also speaks of a Hebrew man’s manhood. What it means to be strong and to be brave. If you were to use a word today you would speak of a man’s balls. To talk of his thighs, of his genitals, to talk of what it means to be a man in this world. As I struggled in the night, my very manhood had been touched. And I had become vulnerable before God. But I knew who I was, and I knew how I had sinned against my brother. I knew the humility of becoming aware of my whole life. I built an altar there and called it Peniel, because I had seen God face to face.
I crossed the river and went to meet my brother Esau. When he came to me he had his arms open wide. We hugged and we cried. I said, “Your face to me is like a shining sun. I am so grateful for your welcome.” We lived out the rest of our days in peace. He and his family continued to live in the land to the southeast. I and my family lived in Canaan. Israel who has striven with God and with man and has prevailed.