May 20, 2001
Sixth Sunday of Easter
| HEBREW SCRIPTURE: | Zephaniah 3:19-20 |
| PSALTER: | Psalm 15:1-3 |
| THE GOSPEL: | Luke 10:25-37 |
She had gone to a diner for a quick bite to eat with her husband and 3 year old son. As they were eating, she noticed an unshaven, grimy, old man sitting nearby who was talking with alcohol laden breath to her infant son. Her son responded, as 3-year-olds will. This went on throughout dinner as the mother became more and more uncomfortable with the attention directed towards her son. She nervously finished her meal and headed for the door. As she walked by the old man, her son propelled himself into the man's arms. Suddenly a very old smelly man and a very young boy consummated their love relationship in a hug. Her son in an act of total trust, love, and submission laid his tiny head upon the man's ragged shoulder. The man 5 's eyes closed, tears welling up in his eyes. His aged hands full of grime, pain, and hard labor gently, so gently, cradled the baby and stroked his back. She stood awestruck. The old man rocked and cradled the boy in his arms for a moment, and then his eyes opened and set squarely on hers. He said in a firm commanding voice, "Take good care of this baby!" Somehow she managed, "I will," from a throat that contained a stone. The old man pried her son from his chest-unwillingly, longingly, as though he was in pain. She received her baby, and the man said, "God bless you, ma'am, your son gave me a very special gift." With her son in her arms, she ran for the car. Her husband was wondering why she was crying and holding the baby so tightly as she repeated, 'My God, my God, forgive me." She had just witnessed Christ's love shown through the innocence of a tiny child who saw no sin, who made no judgment; a child who saw a soul, and a mother who saw a suit of clothes. She was a Christian who was blind, holding a child who was not. She felt it was God asking- 'Are you willing to share your son for a moment?" -- when God shared His for all eternity. The ragged old man, unwittingly, had reminded her, 'To enter the Kingdom of God, we must become as little children."
You may have wondered what the story of the baby and the alcoholic old man I put in the bulletin has to do with Open and Affirming. I love that story because it points out poignantly and in a way we can all relate to, the sin of privilege. We rarely think about it when we have it. All too often, we fear or fail to see those who don't. We talked a lot about this when we were in our dialogue over ONA.
Let us pray. 0 Lord, hold open our hearts and minds this morning. Calm our fears as we move forward in your service. Help us to discard all of the misinformation and hate we have accumulated over our lifetimes. Keep us strong so that we may continue our journey with love and compassion. In Jesus name we pray. Amen .
> Stand Up and Be Counted!
In 1984 the UCC Synod, our national conference comprised of delegates from all of our regional conferences, voted after years of debate to be Open and Affirming. Had we been almost any other body of faith, that would be the end of it. Without any thought or effort, all of us would be bound by this new pronouncement. What a great system we have. We are charged with the responsibility of deciding individually on issues within each congregation. It may be slower and a lot messier, but we earn our position on issues and matters of faith through prayerful dialogue and debate. At this very moment hundreds of U.C.C. churches are either in the process of active dialogue or considering becoming an Open and Affirming congregation. Approximately seven percent of U.C.C. churches have voted in the affirmative with several new ones coming on board each month.
While events and dialogue leading up to becoming and ONA church are different for each congregation, I suspect we all have a lot of similar experiences. In our case, our eyes were opened to the pain and suffering we have caused by our indifference and judgmentalism. We have come to the view that Jesus was an outcast who ministered to the outcast. In the spirit of his message of love and inclusion, we believe we are being true to his message by enthusiastically welcoming the marginalized into our faith community. We believe that becoming Open and Affirming is not a destination, but rather a process that fosters hospitality and spiritual growth for everyone of us.
When we started our dialogue we had many questions. The following questions may sound familiar. What happens when we become Open and Affirming? Will we lose members and possibly some friends? Why do we need to go through this process anyway? Everyone is welcome here so why do we have to make such a big deal out of making a public statement about our inclusiveness? If we become an Open and Affirming church, will we become a gay church? Even if we don't become a gay church, won't the public view us that way? I am not comfortable thinking about homosexuality, so why do we have to talk about it?
Behind these questions, both spoken and unspoken, we came to learn was both discomfort and fear; discomfort at learning about things that we had been taught to avoid, fear of unknown problems, and wounds we might create or open up. Some of us felt we were nailing ourselves to the cross and were unsure we were up to it. Others welcomed the chance to test our personal commitment to spiritual and social justice. What a joy it was to see 85 year-old ladies in earnest open-minded dialogue. There was contrition.' For example, an elderly woman suffering with terminal cancer faithfully attended the discussions. On a visit late in her sickness she told me with tears in her eyes she had been on a pastoral search committee and had voted to not consider one of the most qualified candidates simply because he was gay. "I was wrong. Please! --- Pray with me for forgiveness," she quietly pleaded.
On Pentecost Sunday, May 23, 1999 after nine months of intense study, we voted to become the 288th Open and Affirming congregation in our denomination. This morning there is a joyful celebration and service commemorating that decision at my Everett church. I would love to be there, but this is much more important. In reality, every day we celebrate that fact.
You have members in this congregation who are holding their breath right now. They are quietly sitting there among you --- fearful. They are afraid that their friends and fellow parishioners will turn their backs on their sons, daughters, relatives, or friends who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered. Others are feeling anxious because they have not been willing to share their own sexual orientation out of fear of disapproval or ostracism. They know from experience that silence does not signal full acceptance and affirmation of who they really are. With the vocal Christian Right teaching their own distorted view of morality regarding sexual orientation, our silence is taken as acquiescence to that point of view.
Almost every Sunday new faces appear in our pews these days. Some stay and some move on; all are curious to find out if it is true that all are unequivocally welcome. About every six months we have a new member class of a dozen, or so. These are the new members who come to us because we are an Open and Affirming Congregation. They reject unearned privilege, discrimination, and judgmentalism. The new members want to help build a new faith community and are not afraid to work. The community we are building together is a warm spiritually alive place for all of us. This is the kind of church home they want their children to grow up in; maturing into these same values. We are thankful for all of the talent, ideas, and warm personalities our new members and friends give so freely.
Sadly, some of our fears have come true. We have lost some members. A few people left who were unwilling or unable look closely at the six biblical passages frequently used to condemn homosexuality. They were unwilling to believe that in the years since biblical times there could be new understandings and knowledge in this one area. It was a real disappointment to me that some of my friends were unwilling to look at the issue at all. These were the folks who have tended to drift away. John Wesley, founder of the Methodist church and great liberal theologian of his time, believed that Christianity should be based on four parts --- scripture, tradition, knowledge, and experience in order be relevant. He worried that tradition and scripture used selectively could be used to invalidate knowledge and experience. Some of those who left us couldn't seem to get past tradition and scripture which, for them, remained in the context of the past. If I can paraphrase John Wesley, he believed the Bible should be the "Living Word... not the "Word of the Dead."
Will our church be vandalized when we become Open and Affirming? This was one of our fears. What can I say? It hasn't happened to us. Ours is the only mainline Christian church in all of Snohomish County that openly welcomes sexual minorities into all aspects of its faith community. There is a lot of prejudice in the community directed at gays. Even in this bigoted climate we have had no problems with violence against people or property.
It is tough to see old friends who made their covenants before God and their church family at the time of a baby's baptism forget them when that infant grows up to be gay. We have a much better understanding about the sacrament of baptism now that we understand it is a normal aspect of human sexuality that some of our kids are gay or lesbian. In no way does that reality diminish the promise we make at baptism.
One of the most powerful ONA documents we authored came several months after we voted to become Open and Affirming. It is our "Statement of Ministry regarding Sexual Orientation." It has literally changed lives and, in at least one instance, saved one. I will be happy to share that with you at the panel discussion that follows this service.
Conservative faith based communities that shun and demonize sexual minorities have blood on their hands. Exaggeration? Absolutely not! For example, a close friend of mine spent 2 years in therapy because he didn't take seriously enough the depth of despair a gay student of his shared over being told by his minister that he was going to burn-in Hell because he was gay. That 17 year old student killed himself on the day he told my friend about the futility of being who he was. Churches share responsibility along with a homophobic public for the fact that gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered kids are over three times as likely to commit suicide as heterosexual young people. As bad as that is, think about all of the gay kids who grow up believing they will be punished by God just for being who they are. Many of my adult gay friends and acquaintances carry serious psychological scars from that kind of spiritual abuse. Happily, many of them have found healing and acceptance in Open and Affirming churches as they immerse themselves in all of the activities of our welcoming congregations.
In a couple of months, I will be standing up as the best man for the Holy Union for a lesbian couple. The family and the church of one of the women has shunned her because she is a homosexual. None in her family is willing to be a part of this loving covenant blessed by God and celebrated by our church family. Somehow, they seem to reason that by passing judgment on a member of their own family they are being faithful to their belief. In many conservative Christian churches shunning a gay child or adult is encouraged in a misguided attempt to. change them into becoming someone they are not.
We have a new member who had been an ordained minister in a mainline Christian Church for many years. She could no longer hide her orientation when she and a lifelong friend fell in love. Even though her talents were undiminished, she no longer had a place within her denomination. She has confided in me how wonderful and comforting it is to be in a faith community where she is no longer the target of spiritual violence and condescendence --- a community where she and her life partner are loved and accepted as a couple.
A year ago a new member of our church, I'll call him Chuck, got up on ONA anniversary day to tell his story to the entire congregation. He told us how our church had saved his life. He was about to end his life over the loss of his partner of 50 years. They had been in a secret, fully closeted, loving relationship from the time he turned 18. Because they had grown up in a conservative church and because of the danger of being openly gay, they had not revealed their orientation even to family members. When two persons live a closeted life as a gay couple, they tend to live very much to themselves. They did not attend church because they felt unwelcome. They had few friends for support. In the 50th year of their commitment to each other, Chuck's life partner became stricken and died in the Chuck's arms of a heart attack. Totally demoralized and depressed, Chuck came to our church to pray before ending his life. When he walked through our doors on the literature counter he saw our Statement of Ministry Regarding Sexual Orientation. He also noticed that gay and straight couples were smiling and happy to be in each other's company. Almost immediately he felt as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He felt safe. He is sure God led him to our church that Sunday morning at the time of his most desperate need.
The most compelling part of Chuck's story is after living a lifetime in hiding ---- after 50 years in a secret committed and loving relationship with another human being--Chuck felt loved and safe enough to tell his story openly and without shame to our congregation. On that day and ever since, I know our ONA church is truly part of the living Christ.
I will conclude with this observation. When we started the ONA process we were a church running on empty. Our church family was aging and shrinking with each death. We were a church that had reached its zenith and had gone into serious decline; not only in numbers, but in spirit. We were being held back by doing things the same old comfortable way and unwilling to change. We were fast becoming more of a social club for seniors than a church. I was beginning to feel just how irrelevant we were in the community. I listened to the strident rhetoric of the Christian Right and thought what a misnomer that was --- as I understand Christ's message of love and compassion, they are neither Christian nor right! But there was a palpable silence in response from our liberal churches. Was it possible that we had been intimidated into not speaking out against the heresy of judgment, exclusion, and easy answers offered by our fundamentalist brothers and sisters? We began to see clearly how fundamentalism used selective passages from scripture as a weapon against those they marginalized and oppressed. With that in mind, we rolled up our sleeves and went to work on redefining who we were and whether we were willing to walk the same path with Jesus.
Our church was literally reborn two years ago. We no longer reside in the stagnation of spiritual complacency. We have opened our arms wide and embraced our new vision. We dared to risk the cross and found new meaning and new life. For us, at least, the pain and discomfort of holding old beliefs and fears up to the light has been rewarded. The process of becoming a publicly welcoming church has resulted in strengthening our faith and has renewed our spirit. With God's help, you too will experience that same exhilaration and joy of renewal. Amen
Guest preacher, Tom Blossom
First Congregational Church
United Church of Christ of Everett
2624 Rockefeller Avenue
Everett, WA 98201